A friend once said, the odds of me crying during a movie is very slim. To be honest, I used to be a crybaby when I was a kid. Movies, yelling and physical pain could easily trigger my tear ducts. As I grew older, I did everything I could to toughen up. It worked as to not making me cry physically but I did still feel sad inside. Then I went to college, after my first boyfriend broke my heart, I couldn't stop crying. I'm not proud of those times. I was weak, clingy, naive and sad to say, I was stupid. Come to think of it, my first boyfriend and I went through a lot of unnecessary drama during the short period of time that we were together. Some memories would make me smile, some would make me laugh in embarrassment and some would just make me hide in my closet. He and I did not speak for five years after we broke up and I honestly never in my mind thought that I would ever be at peace with him. We aren't close friends these days but if it weren't for him, I would be a totally different person today. He thought me how to let myself trust someone, love someone and be happy. Though things did not end well with us, I still am thankful for the wonderful memories that he has given me.
I'm going rather off track here. Well, that story ends there. After the second breakup, I cried insanely for a few days and stopped. I did not let myself feel the pain. That and the awful blowup in the relationship with my parents just did the trick. 25 years worth of issues ballooned up tight but steady was poked by a tiny pin of misleading information. I lived like an orphan for three months without communicating with my parents. At that time, I stayed away from almost everyone except for occasional phone calls to my bestfriend Durrah and my brother Hafiz. I have had issues with my parents all my life but that dreadful period was the most emotionally torturing one. It was then that my brain and heart stopped communicating. I couldnt feel anything. I was numb when I did things I enjoyed, I laughed at inappropriate events and my mind was empty most of the time.
Suffice it to say, crying ratio between then and now is 8:1. Furthermore, I could not find any movies that could make me cry. I tried to watch all the sappy movies that was suggested to me. My bestfriend even asked me to watch some video about a dying kid on youtube to make me cry. That and nothing else worked. One fine day, as I was reading a movie review by a local critic, I came across a title that the critic deemed one of the best Islamic/humanity themed movie that he has ever seen. Its called The Color Of Paradise. I was intrigued. Googled it up and took me about a day and a half to download the movie. I was so busy at that time that the only free time I had to watch movies was before I went to bed. With the laptop on my tummy, I fell asleep 5 minutes after the movie started for 3 days in a row. I put off watching the movie until my weekend. I watched the movie alone in my room. To my surprise, 15 minutes later I was reaching out for the kleenex. The movie touched my heart and soul like no movie ever did before. I called my bestfriend a few days after that and she was in awe. But before that, she was rather critical about it and asked whether I was having a mood swing or whether I was on PMS.pffftt.
So there, a movie that finally made me cry. I don't know why I took the long cut to tell this story.
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