my long weekend

a long entry. sorry i cant be bothered to construct full sentences

19th february

• i received an sms from an EBC member informing me that there would be an unexpected roda in bukit bintang that night

• reluctant at 1st as i have never been in a public roda before.received an sms from agas who persuaded me to go. he assured me that i only had to sing and clap
  
• drove to bukit bintang like a maniac as i thought i was already late.arrived at quarter past 8. parked my car at bb plaza parking.
• met other EBC members at maybank.waited and waited and waited till all of us were very anxious. decided to get some food while waiting.
  
• even after the consumed food were all digested, no sign of mestres.
• they finally arrived at 10.45 or so. apparently there were some kind of mixup with the plans and mia got lost in cheras when she was on her way to pick them up.
• very fun roda.mestres showed off their skills. humiliated myself in public.forced to play roda with the mestres.was the only beginner there.
• supposed to go to lcct to pick up the filipino students.another plan mixup.horrible organization to be honest. there were no definite planning as to where the students would stay.
• there was no bloody way i was gonna drive all by myself to lcct at night since san, ovu and i were going to lcct from separate directions, i persuaded agas to come with me.got lost a bit before arriving. cacau was calling so many times as it was already late and no one was actually communicating with her. picked them up. another problem,5 were supposed to stay in cheras and 5 in damansara.there 3 cars but only san knew the way to cheras but his car cant fit 5 passengers. in the end, all 3 cars went to cheras for the people there to decide who stays where. everyone was already tired so all of them decided to stay in cheras. took them out for supper, sent agas home and headed to putramas right away.
• very very tired but i couldnt get much rest that night

20th february

• received an sms wanting me to go to cheras to pick them up and send them to cacau's house. i was locked in as my sister went to work and didnt give me her key.
• juls called and arranged for me, her and syaza to go to the workshop together.
• got ready, packed the necessary stuff and knocked on underwear guys' door(ask him a favor, to tag the stupid lift so that i can use the lift to go down to the ground floor)
• parked car at havana. got a ride with juls while truque rode with syaza. syaza forgot her gps so we had to just find the place on our own.
• arrived at the hotel. no1 was ready just yet. syaza went early to the complex and left her car with me. juls and i were supposed to convoi with soldado to the complex but we lost him in the traffic. decided to stop at the gas station and ask for directions. juls had to pay a cab to take her there.
• finally got there. tiring workshop. not enough water.too chicken to get into the roda. forced to go in with soldado. supposed to take 5 filipinos to cacau's house. went to rasta for supper. ate like a cow. went home after that.

miss grimace i am indeed


21st february

• woke up aching all over.got an sms asking me to take the filipinos to bt caves. i wanted to coz theyre so nice but i was aching and had a headache.
• remembered i had nothing to wear for the brazilian night. drove to cyber that evening to pick some clothes
• rushed to bkt bintang as there was another roda. it was raining on the way so i had to slow down. the roda was cancelled. met the boys in mcd and went to change in lot 10.the boys were having an early dinner in sg wang. by the time everyone was gathered to go to the westin together,it was raining heavily. i forgot that westin was opposite pavilion, if i had remembered i wouldve driven there. dumbass. it was pouring rain and there was no way we could run/walk there without arriving soaking wet. estatua brought his umbrella and san had this very 'nazak' looking umbrella.we decided to take turns using the 2 umbrellas and stop at every possible shelter. all 6 of us looked like idiots running in the rain. my feet were all wet and so were my clothes. i was just trying very hard to conceal my face from the rain as i didnt want the rain to ruin my makeup and make me look goth.
  
• we finally arrived in qba. the music was fine. the batucada people were there. a close friend i invited to the event called and asked me for a favor. he wanted to buy him some flowers. a good friend i am, i snatched salario from the crowd and made him accompany me to pavilion to get the flowers. it costs 50 freakin bucks! i didnt know flowers were that expensive but i couldnt care less since im gonna claim the money anyway. it was a tad embarrassing lugging the flowers around the mall. im so gonna hang this over his head for the rest of his life. everyone was having fun i guess at qba. i felt like i was suffocating in the crowd. it reminded me why i dont go clubbing.
  
• i was getting tired so i left at 12 or so. the bb parking is so stupid. the malls were already closed so azhar and i had to climb up winding ramp to get my car. we had dinner at devis bangsar and i drove home.

21st february

• batizado day. drove to solaris. got a teeny tiny tshirt for batizado. i looked like i was wearing a baby's shirt. stomach ache. everyone thought i was just nervous but i knew that wasnt it.
• got my yellow corda. didnt do as well as i wanted coz i was too busy telling myself not to vomit during the au. happy with my corda none the less.
• took the filipinos to makbul ttdi for lunch. planned to take them to klcc afterwards. as i said, theyre too nice to say no to. arrived in klcc when suddenly somebody called saying we had to be at the hotel. i was rather confused. we had just arrived.havent even had the chance to show them around. gas aint free people! since the filipinos said to me in makbul that they wanted to see the place, i decided to just stay. had coffee and good conversation at dome. they went back to the hotel with a cab. i didnt want to go to the hotel since they were taking a cab there. i just didnt see the point of going but somebody insisted. i wasnt in the mood to argue so i went. almost hit another car at the roundabout as i was too busy looking at the signboard coz my passengers werent sure of the route. arrived at the hotel, cheras was fucking packed. couldnt find a parking outside so went to the paid parking.
• i looked like a vegetable as i entered their room. i was exhausted. i didnt take the filipinos to the airport as nobody told me earlier. i had plans with my sister. i felt bad for the filipinos but i was just too exhausted. im broke anyway. gas and toll cost aint cheap.

in the roda with prof sapo

in conclusion, i had a long, tiring but fun weekend. met some very interesting people and witnessed some very cool capoeira moves by the mestres.

*pics courtesy of mr johan sopiee a.k.a ovu

crappy entry

i have no idea what to write. otak macam beku. nak cakap writers block, im not actually a writer. do i have to be utterly depressed in order to find inspiration? i think i need to find a muse. maybe a happy one for a change. its not easy to find one in my own circle. maybe this is God's way of telling me to get the hell out of my comfort zone and find me a muse. sekarang boleh la semangat meet new people, konon nak cari muse, nanti bila dah kenal orang baru, mula la lari bila dah rapat atau bosan. i used to wonder why i can be really friendly to strangers and new people but once things get personal, i tend to run in the opposite direction. i brought it up in one of my conversations with a close friend. he said that knowing me, thats only natural. i have this fear of intimacy. i wont let people in that easily. we argued about it for some time as i was still in the denial stage. i didnt want to believe that i was that damaged or messed up inside. i took some time away from everything and pondered about it alone until i was ready to own up to it. well, that was about a year ago or so. yet i have not found a way to overcome my issues. i do not think im bipolar but there was a time when i my mood switched within seconds. one moment i was all happy and giggly and the next thing i know i was all curled up weeping like a baby. also vice versa. i dont know what it is but i cant connect well with energetic, bubbly, happy people. i prefer ones who are melancholic tho happy ones help me burn more calories. haha. orang-orang yang kononnya sangat happy dan tak ada masalah ni buat saya rasa macam parasit/virus. saya tak percaya ada orang yang 100% happy even if they claim they are. that would explain why i avoid seeing friends when im down. i do pretend to be all happy when i have to but i just cant do it constantly. penat ok nak pretend senyum kalau senyum tu tak ikhlas.ada juga sesetangah yang buat saya rasa macam sayalah punca masalah dan semua masalah ni semua senang sangat nak selesaikan. buat je macam ni, buat je macam tu, kau bukan dalam situasi aku bodoh! macam mana kau tau senang sangat nak buat! kepada yang rasa begitu, u can go kiss your own ass! im a gazillion miles away from perfect but if my memory serves me right, i rarely tell people how to solve their problems coz i know that i would never completely understand their situation. saya jarang nak bagi pendapat kpd orang lain dan saya juga enggan bagi pendapat kalau ditanya sekalipon sebab saya tau saya berfikiran sinikal.kepada sesiapa yang saya terbagi pendapat, saya min ta maaf sangat2. tak ramai orang boleh menerima pendapat saya so buat apa saya nak cakap. buat kering air liur je. saya dah melalut. this entry is a load of crap. im just whining about stuff i seldom say out loud coz im a scaredy-cat who cant work it to attack people verbally without getting into a fight.